My Dear Sweet Robert,
Today, May 1, is the National Day of Prayer. As I was driving to work this morning, I was praying and talking to God, asking him to please bless our country and guide our leaders during these tumultuous days, when suddenly you came to my mind.
You don't need a government sponsored decree for a day of prayer where you are, do you? You are where answered prayer originates! How awesome it must be where you are.
I prayed today for our family. I named them one by one and asked God to bless and watch over each of them.
Last night Noah was in the kitchen looking at your pictures on the refrigerator door. I was in the living room. He called out loudly to me, "Grandma, why did Grandpa Robert have to die?" Wow, what a question to have to answer unexpectedly, to a 4 yr old. I simply reminded him that you were very sick and that the doctors tried really hard to make you well, but they couldn't and so God took you to His home in Heaven and that you aren't sick anymore. He misses you a lot. I thank you for making him feel special on those days he was with us. You really touched his life and he is genuinely sad that you aren't here. I tell him its okay to be sad and miss you. I tell him that I am sad and I miss you too.
I remember when you and I prayed last year on May 1, the National Day of Prayer. I can't help but wonder how you and I would have lived our lives differently on those days between May 1 and December 16, if we had known that our time together on this earth as husband and wife was going to be so short. I know I would have prayed and asked God to show me how to be a better wife to you. I would have tried harder to get you to eat healthy and I would have tried harder to be strong for you and fight harder for you when you felt weakness take over. I know I would have prayed that God would let you stay with us longer. I would also have prayed that you could know how very much you meant to so many of your family and friends. Maybe, just maybe, knowing that, you would have made you fight harder to get healthy and stay with us for a long, long time.
That would have been a wonderful answer to my prayers. But, it wasn't to be. I guess it wasn't in God's plan, although I readily admit I just don't understand why we had to lose you so soon. We weren't ready to say good-bye to you, but I guess God was ready to welcome you into His home. I know you are safe now which I guess in an odd way is an answer to my prayer. You will never know how many times I prayed for God to keep you safe and bring you home. In the end, He did keep you safe and He did bring you home; but it wasn't to my home, it was to His.
I'll never forget the warmth of your hand holding mine and hearing your voice praying together with me and for me. Those are special memories I will hold close to my heart always.
Until we are one day together again..
Always know that...
You Will Never Be Forgotten and You Were Always Loved.
Kim Phil 4:13
Today, May 1, is the National Day of Prayer. As I was driving to work this morning, I was praying and talking to God, asking him to please bless our country and guide our leaders during these tumultuous days, when suddenly you came to my mind.
You don't need a government sponsored decree for a day of prayer where you are, do you? You are where answered prayer originates! How awesome it must be where you are.
I prayed today for our family. I named them one by one and asked God to bless and watch over each of them.
Last night Noah was in the kitchen looking at your pictures on the refrigerator door. I was in the living room. He called out loudly to me, "Grandma, why did Grandpa Robert have to die?" Wow, what a question to have to answer unexpectedly, to a 4 yr old. I simply reminded him that you were very sick and that the doctors tried really hard to make you well, but they couldn't and so God took you to His home in Heaven and that you aren't sick anymore. He misses you a lot. I thank you for making him feel special on those days he was with us. You really touched his life and he is genuinely sad that you aren't here. I tell him its okay to be sad and miss you. I tell him that I am sad and I miss you too.
I remember when you and I prayed last year on May 1, the National Day of Prayer. I can't help but wonder how you and I would have lived our lives differently on those days between May 1 and December 16, if we had known that our time together on this earth as husband and wife was going to be so short. I know I would have prayed and asked God to show me how to be a better wife to you. I would have tried harder to get you to eat healthy and I would have tried harder to be strong for you and fight harder for you when you felt weakness take over. I know I would have prayed that God would let you stay with us longer. I would also have prayed that you could know how very much you meant to so many of your family and friends. Maybe, just maybe, knowing that, you would have made you fight harder to get healthy and stay with us for a long, long time.
That would have been a wonderful answer to my prayers. But, it wasn't to be. I guess it wasn't in God's plan, although I readily admit I just don't understand why we had to lose you so soon. We weren't ready to say good-bye to you, but I guess God was ready to welcome you into His home. I know you are safe now which I guess in an odd way is an answer to my prayer. You will never know how many times I prayed for God to keep you safe and bring you home. In the end, He did keep you safe and He did bring you home; but it wasn't to my home, it was to His.
I'll never forget the warmth of your hand holding mine and hearing your voice praying together with me and for me. Those are special memories I will hold close to my heart always.
Until we are one day together again..
Always know that...
You Will Never Be Forgotten and You Were Always Loved.
Kim Phil 4:13
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