November 27, 2008
My Dear Sweet Robert,
Today is Thanksgiving. It is the last of my “first holidays” to get through without you. Although each holiday has had the sadness of missing you, today’s holiday is probably the most bittersweet. That is because of last year’s Thanksgiving celebration. As it turns out, it was the last time we went out together. I cherish all the small moments of that day.
You slept in, like usual! I don’t think I ever knew anyone, who liked to sleep as much as you, except, maybe your mother, Alice! Thinking of her, last month, October 30, was the anniversary of her death. I went to her graveside and stood there for a long while as I reflected on the many times I had stood there, by your side, in the past. You never said a word. Tears filled your eyes each time, as you remembered her, with such love. I don’t think you ever really got over her death. Last year, 2007, you drove yourself to the cemetery. You were supposed to wait for me to get home. But you didn’t. You went on by yourself. I’m not sure why you didn’t wait for me. When I arrived at the cemetery, you were standing there, alone, by her gravesite and tears were streaming down your face. All I could do was put my arms around you and hold you. And now, I wonder what it would have been like on that day, if either of us had known that in just 48 short days, you would be taken from us on earth, and you would once again be in the arms of your beloved mother, Alice, and then ushered, into the waiting arms of Jesus. For me, if I had known, I am sure I would have held you tighter and I would have most assuredly held you in my arms a lot longer.
Reflecting on the rest of our 2007 Thanksgiving Day, we went to two family dinners. First, we went to Sherri & Tim’s to celebrate the day at 1 pm and then on to Sylvia & Linh’s at 5 pm. Looking back, I am not sure how you found the energy to do both. You were very, very sick and yet somehow, you were so vibrant on this day. And what a good day it was. After all the goodbyes with my family, we drove to Sylvia’s where she had cooked her first Thanksgiving Day turkey dinner. She was so excited to have us coming to her special dinner. Under normal circumstances, you would never have eaten two complete Thanksgiving meals, but on this day you did. You really enjoyed yourself. I believe God blessed you with extra strength and energy for the day. He knew you would be leaving us very soon.
The pictures Sylvia took on that day were the last ones taken of you. I treasure them, especially the one she took of you and me. Even though you are obviously sick, you are still smiling and I can see the sparkle in your eyes. I keep that picture in my Bible, a reminder of a very special day, a day full of love, for each other and for our families.
This year, Sylvia went to Alabama to be with her mom. She even invited me to go along with her. She is always so kind to me. I thanked her for the invitation.
As I was preparing my green bean casserole, I could hear the traditional sounds of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade playing on the TV in the background. For just a moment, I closed my eyes and imagined it was 2007, not 2008. It smelled the same and it sounded the same. But it wasn’t the same. Last year, I could have glanced over to your chair and seen you sitting there. Today, all I saw was an empty chair. I let the tears fall and didn’t even try to stop them. It was going to be so emotional going to dinner and sitting at that same table where I had sat with you last year.
Once arriving at Sherri and Tim’s home, I focused on greeting everyone in my family. God is so gracious and wonderful to me. Once my eyes saw our newest granddaughter, Clara, it was if God used the blessing of this new precious life, to help me hide away the sadness, at the memory of your sickness and the loss of your life, a mere 25 days later.
We started a new tradition in our family this year. Sherri had a spiral notebook and throughout our time together, each family member, took turns writing down what they were thankful for this year. As I did that, I began to think of the many things I have to be thankful for.
I am most thankful for a God who loves me so much that He has provided for my every need this year. Whether physical, emotional or financial, He always makes a way for me. When you were my husband, you were my provider. Being without you, as my provider, has allowed me to focus and depend more on Him. He always provides or makes a way for me, even when situations appear hopeless. I have received so many blessings, that I decided to begin a blessings basket. When something or someone blesses me, I write it down and drop it in my “Blessings Basket.” Then, when I am having a hard day, I can just reach in my basket and be reminded of a blessing I had on another day.
For you, my love, I imagine, everyday is Thanksgiving. The only difference is here we sit around a table and offer a prayer of Thanksgiving to God for what we have. Where you are, He sits at the head of your table and you can speak directly to Him. How amazing that must be! I look forward to joining you at that table one day. Until then…
Always Know That You Were Loved, And Will Never Be Forgotten.
Love Always,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Eleventh Month Since Bobby's Homegoing - November 16, 2008
November 16, 2008
Eleven months have now gone by since the day we lost your presence with us. It seems hard to believe that so much time has passed.
Sometimes I feel like it was just the other day when I heard your sweet voice calling me and asking me to pick up a new movie to watch together. Now I have a hard time watching a movie without thinking of you. Whenever we watched a movie that you had already seen, I remember how you use to hit me on the leg and say "Watch This, Watch This!" It took me years to get you to stop that little habit!
Sometimes when I see a white Saturn driving on the road, I instinctively quickly look to see if it's you. Of course, I know it's not, but I still look, sometimes even when I am behind the wheel, driving your white Saturn. Those are some of the times when I feel like I am losing my mind. I am told that is normal, so I won't worry too much about it.
Sometimes I am in a store and I see a man in the distance who has a resemblance to you. I find that I can't stop staring and wishing it was you. I try to look away, but my eyes seem to just want "one more look."
Sometimes I am in church and I see a husband put his arm around his wife and I can't help but think of you and the loving way you used to put your arm around me in church or the way you would gently hold my hand while we were singing. Oh, how I would love to hear to hear your voice sing one more time. The angels must have been thrilled to have your voice join with theirs in singing and praising God.
Sometimes I just miss having you to talk with. Earlier this month, much to my dismay, I got laid off from my job. I know what an encourager you would have been to me. And yet, even though it has been so many months since you were here, you are still helping me. Last fall, you set a profile up for me on Jobs.com. I am thankful now that I didn't delete it from the computer. I also modified your Monster profile to be mine! You would have been proud of me!!!
I could sure use any extra prayers or guidance on how to find the job that will be right for me. I have so many obstacles working against me- my age, my physical limitations, and the economic conditions in our country. For the first time ever, I have filed for unemployment. Thanks to watching you do it a few times, I knew how to go online and file my claim! My first check should be coming soon. I am just not sure how to get out there and find this job that I so desperately need. There are so many people looking for jobs. For now, I am trusting that God will show me the way. He will put the right person in my path to either meet me or read my resume and call me. I will have faith. He will not fail me. I have claimed Romans 8:28 for my verse to get me through this difficult time. That is the same verse that I read to you so many times, when you weren't sure what you were supposed to do with your life. My prayer is that I can take these circumstances I find myself in, and watch things come together according to His will and that I will soon be able to see clearly the path God has outlined for me.
As always, my love...
Know That You Were Always Loved, And Will Never Be Forgotten,
Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13 and Romans 8:28
Eleven months have now gone by since the day we lost your presence with us. It seems hard to believe that so much time has passed.
Sometimes I feel like it was just the other day when I heard your sweet voice calling me and asking me to pick up a new movie to watch together. Now I have a hard time watching a movie without thinking of you. Whenever we watched a movie that you had already seen, I remember how you use to hit me on the leg and say "Watch This, Watch This!" It took me years to get you to stop that little habit!
Sometimes when I see a white Saturn driving on the road, I instinctively quickly look to see if it's you. Of course, I know it's not, but I still look, sometimes even when I am behind the wheel, driving your white Saturn. Those are some of the times when I feel like I am losing my mind. I am told that is normal, so I won't worry too much about it.
Sometimes I am in a store and I see a man in the distance who has a resemblance to you. I find that I can't stop staring and wishing it was you. I try to look away, but my eyes seem to just want "one more look."
Sometimes I am in church and I see a husband put his arm around his wife and I can't help but think of you and the loving way you used to put your arm around me in church or the way you would gently hold my hand while we were singing. Oh, how I would love to hear to hear your voice sing one more time. The angels must have been thrilled to have your voice join with theirs in singing and praising God.
Sometimes I just miss having you to talk with. Earlier this month, much to my dismay, I got laid off from my job. I know what an encourager you would have been to me. And yet, even though it has been so many months since you were here, you are still helping me. Last fall, you set a profile up for me on Jobs.com. I am thankful now that I didn't delete it from the computer. I also modified your Monster profile to be mine! You would have been proud of me!!!
I could sure use any extra prayers or guidance on how to find the job that will be right for me. I have so many obstacles working against me- my age, my physical limitations, and the economic conditions in our country. For the first time ever, I have filed for unemployment. Thanks to watching you do it a few times, I knew how to go online and file my claim! My first check should be coming soon. I am just not sure how to get out there and find this job that I so desperately need. There are so many people looking for jobs. For now, I am trusting that God will show me the way. He will put the right person in my path to either meet me or read my resume and call me. I will have faith. He will not fail me. I have claimed Romans 8:28 for my verse to get me through this difficult time. That is the same verse that I read to you so many times, when you weren't sure what you were supposed to do with your life. My prayer is that I can take these circumstances I find myself in, and watch things come together according to His will and that I will soon be able to see clearly the path God has outlined for me.
As always, my love...
Know That You Were Always Loved, And Will Never Be Forgotten,
Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13 and Romans 8:28
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Election Day - November 4, 2008
November 4, 2008
My Dear Sweet Robert,
Today is Election Day for our country’s President. This is a day, which I know you were looking forward to. I recall how concerned you were for the direction our country seemed headed. If you were still with us, that concern would be magnified many times from what you felt last year. So much has gone on in our country and in the world.
It seems like a lifetime ago, remembering when you and I sat around watching Fox News programs , with you rooting for Rudy Guiliani and me rooting for Mitt Romney, to be the Republican candidate. Well, neither of our guys made it, but I have come to be pretty comfortable with our party’s team of John McCain and Sarah Palin. I believe you would have, too. I can only imagine the many conversations we would have had, regarding the opportunity for our country to elect the first woman Vice-President or the first African-American President. It would have filled many, many evenings for us, speculating on the outcome.
I got up very early this morning to vote when the polls opened. I was still # 102 in line to cast my ballot. I stood in line for an hour for the privilege of casting my vote (or should I say “our vote”) because I surely felt as if I were casting your vote also. I missed standing in the line with you. No one else could see, but my eyes welled up with tears a couple of times with remembrances of our past voting times. You would always give me a wonderful neck message as we waited our turn to vote. I felt so lonely standing by myself, with husbands and wives standing and chatting all around me.
As I drove away from the polling place, I felt a deep sadness. But, then I prayed for my sadness to go away and in a very short time I found a smile replacing my sadness as I thought of you in Heaven with the King of Kings. There is no need for elections where you reside! That matter has already been settled, once and for all! Your King is the King above all Kings.
Another important matter has been settled tonight. Our new President will be Barack Obama, our country’s first African American President. While he was not the candidate of my choice, now that he has been duly elected, he is my President and I will support him and will most certainly pray for him. I am quite sure, you would have done the same.
Please Know That You Were Always Loved, And Will Never Be Forgotten,
Kim
Phil 4:13
My Dear Sweet Robert,
Today is Election Day for our country’s President. This is a day, which I know you were looking forward to. I recall how concerned you were for the direction our country seemed headed. If you were still with us, that concern would be magnified many times from what you felt last year. So much has gone on in our country and in the world.
It seems like a lifetime ago, remembering when you and I sat around watching Fox News programs , with you rooting for Rudy Guiliani and me rooting for Mitt Romney, to be the Republican candidate. Well, neither of our guys made it, but I have come to be pretty comfortable with our party’s team of John McCain and Sarah Palin. I believe you would have, too. I can only imagine the many conversations we would have had, regarding the opportunity for our country to elect the first woman Vice-President or the first African-American President. It would have filled many, many evenings for us, speculating on the outcome.
I got up very early this morning to vote when the polls opened. I was still # 102 in line to cast my ballot. I stood in line for an hour for the privilege of casting my vote (or should I say “our vote”) because I surely felt as if I were casting your vote also. I missed standing in the line with you. No one else could see, but my eyes welled up with tears a couple of times with remembrances of our past voting times. You would always give me a wonderful neck message as we waited our turn to vote. I felt so lonely standing by myself, with husbands and wives standing and chatting all around me.
As I drove away from the polling place, I felt a deep sadness. But, then I prayed for my sadness to go away and in a very short time I found a smile replacing my sadness as I thought of you in Heaven with the King of Kings. There is no need for elections where you reside! That matter has already been settled, once and for all! Your King is the King above all Kings.
Another important matter has been settled tonight. Our new President will be Barack Obama, our country’s first African American President. While he was not the candidate of my choice, now that he has been duly elected, he is my President and I will support him and will most certainly pray for him. I am quite sure, you would have done the same.
Please Know That You Were Always Loved, And Will Never Be Forgotten,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Daughter, Sylvia's First Birthday Since Her Father's Homegoing - November 3, 2008
November 3, 2008
Today is not only Sylvia's birthday, but it is the day that I donated your suit to a program called "Suited 4 Success." It was a decision that I asked both Sylvia and Robert Jr. to join in making with me. I am so proud of each of their responses.
I hope they will not mind, I am choosing to include our communications about this here in this special place where we can come and write and share our deep feelings about you.
It represents a significant part of healing our grief.
This is the message I sent to them:
Good Morning Robert and Sylvia,
There is something I would appreciate you insight on. Not very long after your Dad's passing, I faced the emotional task of removing his clothes from our closet. I gently folded and put them in grocery size bags, carefully labeling the contents and size of each bag. I put the bags in the dining room behind the table. My plan had been to give them to the Vietnam Vets program. I had received a card in the mail that they were going to be in my area. When I realized that I had to leave them outside for someone to pick up while I was at work, I couldn't do it. To me, it felt like I would be putting his things "out for the trash", although I knew it wasn't. I let the date for calling them go by and his things stayed in the dining room.
I rarely go in that room and I guess in a wierd sort of way, I was comforted in knowing his clothes were nearby. When his birthday came, I came to the realization that, in keeping the bags of perfectly good clothes, I was preventing someone who was in need of the gift of receiving them. I knew that your Dad would have wanted me to make sure that others in need could have them.
So, on the Sunday after his birthday, I donated them to the Agape House of my church. It is a ministry that allows persons in the Middleburg area, who are in need, to come and shop for food and clothing, at no charge. I had heard they were in need of men's clothing, so I put "2 and 2 together" and realized that I was being selfish by not donating them.
On Saturday, I made the decision to take them to church on the next day. It wasn't easy to pick up the bags and load them into the back of the van. But I did. I arrived early on that Sunday morning and took two of the bags into the designated area of the church. As I sat them down, I realized that I was having a hard time breathing and I knew I was not going to be able to get them all inside by myself. There were many bags to carry and It was quite a distance from where I had to park. I went on into church and my niece, Sherri said she would help me after church.
She did and after a few trips back and forth, everything was in the room. As I stepped back and took one last look at his things, I was suddenly overcome with emotion and as I walked out I could not stop the tears. Sherri could see what a hard time I was having and she put her arm around me to help me walk to the car. As we walked, we went right by one of the church deacons named Ben. He immediately asked if he could help. I recall mumbling something about not knowing how hard it was going to be. Sherri explained what we had just done. He was so kind and put his arms around me, hugged me and then prayed a beautiful prayer for me and for each of the men who would ultimately benefit from the gift of your Dad's clothes.
I kept a few pieces of his things that i just couldn't part with. One of them is his suit. He only wore it twice, once to his Dad's wedding to Theresa and then to my Dad's funeral, just a few days before we found out that he, himself, was very ill.
He enjoyed telling me about how he used to wear three piece suits all the time. I would tell him that I bet he was very handsome! And from the smug grin on his face, I could tell he thought so too!
I've not known what to do with his suit. This morning, on our local news, I heard about a program called "Suited 4 Success". They collect "gently used" suits and help outfit a man who has been recently released from prison. The program not only gives them a suit, but helps them through the process of getting a job. It involves some counseling and training for job interviews and generally helps a man assimilate back into the community with a positive outlook. I felt right away that this is the right place to donate your Dad's suit.
I would appreciate your input on how you feel about me taking his suit there.
We all know how many times, your dad was prevented from getting a good job because of things in his past. It frustrated him greatly, but it was a reality we had to deal with. I think he would agree and be proud that his suit would help another man, who may have had similar issues as he did. He ALWAYS donated something to any program that was selling anything that had a goal of keeping kids off of drugs. It might have only been the change in his pocket or my purse, but he was faithful to give at least something. He felt passionately about that issue and we all know why.
I look forward to hearing back from each of you. I apologize for asking about this issue in an email. I don't mean or intend for this to be impersonal, but it would just have been too emotional to speak to each of you about it. I guess it is a self protecting thing.
My love to both of you,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Sylvia responded with this:
I really feel strongly to give the suit to Suited 4 Success. Because dad was one of those people who could not get a job due to his past. I even think if he was alive today he would do it. I can just see the smile on his face as you hand that Suit of love over to someone that would be blessed to have a second chance. That would really raise someone's self esteem because when they place that suit on they will feel important it just does something to a man, kind a like when a woman puts on a brand new pair of high heels on. Thumbs Up.
Love ya,
Sylvia
Robert Jr. responded with this:
Kim we are so proud of you to make such an unselfish decision. I am sure it is like a part of you feels like you are closing a door in a sad way. We are so grateful dad married a beautiful giving women. I think giving his suit to bless someone else is a wonderful idea. We support you and our grateful for you for handling all of dads things.
We are sorry that you have had to make such difficult, emotional and sad decisions. I hope you can find some comfort to know that we are grateful for what you have done. And that these tough & emotional decisions are being a blessing to many others. It sounds like God, our Father, has lead you to just the right places.
Dad,your love, will never be forgotten in our hearts. There will always be wonderful memories to cherish and share. We love you for who you are and thank you for giving me good memories to cherish with dad.
Robert Jr
And so my love, with the blessings of your children, your handsome gray suit has been donated to "Suited 4 Success."
Always Know That You Were Loved And Will Never Be Forgotten
Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Today is not only Sylvia's birthday, but it is the day that I donated your suit to a program called "Suited 4 Success." It was a decision that I asked both Sylvia and Robert Jr. to join in making with me. I am so proud of each of their responses.
I hope they will not mind, I am choosing to include our communications about this here in this special place where we can come and write and share our deep feelings about you.
It represents a significant part of healing our grief.
This is the message I sent to them:
Good Morning Robert and Sylvia,
There is something I would appreciate you insight on. Not very long after your Dad's passing, I faced the emotional task of removing his clothes from our closet. I gently folded and put them in grocery size bags, carefully labeling the contents and size of each bag. I put the bags in the dining room behind the table. My plan had been to give them to the Vietnam Vets program. I had received a card in the mail that they were going to be in my area. When I realized that I had to leave them outside for someone to pick up while I was at work, I couldn't do it. To me, it felt like I would be putting his things "out for the trash", although I knew it wasn't. I let the date for calling them go by and his things stayed in the dining room.
I rarely go in that room and I guess in a wierd sort of way, I was comforted in knowing his clothes were nearby. When his birthday came, I came to the realization that, in keeping the bags of perfectly good clothes, I was preventing someone who was in need of the gift of receiving them. I knew that your Dad would have wanted me to make sure that others in need could have them.
So, on the Sunday after his birthday, I donated them to the Agape House of my church. It is a ministry that allows persons in the Middleburg area, who are in need, to come and shop for food and clothing, at no charge. I had heard they were in need of men's clothing, so I put "2 and 2 together" and realized that I was being selfish by not donating them.
On Saturday, I made the decision to take them to church on the next day. It wasn't easy to pick up the bags and load them into the back of the van. But I did. I arrived early on that Sunday morning and took two of the bags into the designated area of the church. As I sat them down, I realized that I was having a hard time breathing and I knew I was not going to be able to get them all inside by myself. There were many bags to carry and It was quite a distance from where I had to park. I went on into church and my niece, Sherri said she would help me after church.
She did and after a few trips back and forth, everything was in the room. As I stepped back and took one last look at his things, I was suddenly overcome with emotion and as I walked out I could not stop the tears. Sherri could see what a hard time I was having and she put her arm around me to help me walk to the car. As we walked, we went right by one of the church deacons named Ben. He immediately asked if he could help. I recall mumbling something about not knowing how hard it was going to be. Sherri explained what we had just done. He was so kind and put his arms around me, hugged me and then prayed a beautiful prayer for me and for each of the men who would ultimately benefit from the gift of your Dad's clothes.
I kept a few pieces of his things that i just couldn't part with. One of them is his suit. He only wore it twice, once to his Dad's wedding to Theresa and then to my Dad's funeral, just a few days before we found out that he, himself, was very ill.
He enjoyed telling me about how he used to wear three piece suits all the time. I would tell him that I bet he was very handsome! And from the smug grin on his face, I could tell he thought so too!
I've not known what to do with his suit. This morning, on our local news, I heard about a program called "Suited 4 Success". They collect "gently used" suits and help outfit a man who has been recently released from prison. The program not only gives them a suit, but helps them through the process of getting a job. It involves some counseling and training for job interviews and generally helps a man assimilate back into the community with a positive outlook. I felt right away that this is the right place to donate your Dad's suit.
I would appreciate your input on how you feel about me taking his suit there.
We all know how many times, your dad was prevented from getting a good job because of things in his past. It frustrated him greatly, but it was a reality we had to deal with. I think he would agree and be proud that his suit would help another man, who may have had similar issues as he did. He ALWAYS donated something to any program that was selling anything that had a goal of keeping kids off of drugs. It might have only been the change in his pocket or my purse, but he was faithful to give at least something. He felt passionately about that issue and we all know why.
I look forward to hearing back from each of you. I apologize for asking about this issue in an email. I don't mean or intend for this to be impersonal, but it would just have been too emotional to speak to each of you about it. I guess it is a self protecting thing.
My love to both of you,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Sylvia responded with this:
I really feel strongly to give the suit to Suited 4 Success. Because dad was one of those people who could not get a job due to his past. I even think if he was alive today he would do it. I can just see the smile on his face as you hand that Suit of love over to someone that would be blessed to have a second chance. That would really raise someone's self esteem because when they place that suit on they will feel important it just does something to a man, kind a like when a woman puts on a brand new pair of high heels on. Thumbs Up.
Love ya,
Sylvia
Robert Jr. responded with this:
Kim we are so proud of you to make such an unselfish decision. I am sure it is like a part of you feels like you are closing a door in a sad way. We are so grateful dad married a beautiful giving women. I think giving his suit to bless someone else is a wonderful idea. We support you and our grateful for you for handling all of dads things.
We are sorry that you have had to make such difficult, emotional and sad decisions. I hope you can find some comfort to know that we are grateful for what you have done. And that these tough & emotional decisions are being a blessing to many others. It sounds like God, our Father, has lead you to just the right places.
Dad,your love, will never be forgotten in our hearts. There will always be wonderful memories to cherish and share. We love you for who you are and thank you for giving me good memories to cherish with dad.
Robert Jr
And so my love, with the blessings of your children, your handsome gray suit has been donated to "Suited 4 Success."
Always Know That You Were Loved And Will Never Be Forgotten
Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Halloween October 31, 2008
(October 31, 2008)
Halloween is upon us today. I recall that when you married me, you were unaware of how strongly I felt about this holiday, but you found out pretty quickly! It had nothing to do with allowing children to have fun with dressing up in costumes and getting candy. But, it is that there is a very dark, sinister side to this holiday as it is celebrated by those who worship Satan. It breaks my heart to even contemplate some of the horrors that take place on this day. I thank you for respecting my feelings and understanding. It is a day that all Christians should pray intercessory prayers for those affected by these distorted views and beliefs.
I recall the first Halloween after we moved into our new house. You were so excited to be living in a neighborhood and were really looking forward to passing out candy to the children. All the kids in the neighborhood loved "Mr. Robert"! The bowl of candy was by the door, waiting for you to come home from work and for the costumed children to knock on the door and say "Trick or Treat!"
And then you called to tell me, that at the last minute, you had a furniture delivery to make that evening and needed for me to bring the van to you. You had completely forgotten that it was Halloween. When I reminded you, you sighed heavily in frustration. You had planned a fun evening at home. But, you had also promised a sweet older lady, that you would deliver her couch to her on that evening. She was from New Orleans and had lost everything in Hurricane Katrina. I'll always remember how you gave up your first Halloween in our new house to help a distraught woman get furniture into her new apartment. I was proud of you.
And if I recall, the next year, you got to hand out lots of candy to the children in our neighborhood.
And how can I forget last Halloween? I had bought plenty of candy for you to hand out, but you your supply was running low. (Probably because you were giving out handfuls instead of pieces!) By the time I got home from work, you were handing out anything that was individually wrapped from our pantry - cereal bars, breakfast cookies, and even packets of instant oatmeal! We laughed together later as we pondered what the kids must have thought when they got home and checked out their "loot." But, thanks to you and your ingenuity, some kids probably had a healthy bowl of hot oatmeal before going to school the next morning! I smile now, remembering.
This year, as usual, I preferred to be someplace other than home on this night. Our church hosted an event for the community. I helped with one of the activities and stayed until it was over. And then, I scheduled an interesting end to my first Hallowwen night without you.
I had arranged to have a sleep study done and so I checked myself into a Sleep Center for the night. I did it because of you. You were always concerned about my snoring, (and I am sure you were also frustrated by it!) You thought I might have sleep apnea.
It was an odd feeling, having wires attached all over me. I was supposed to lay down and just go to sleep. Easier said than done! I lay there thinking about you. Many times you had expressed a fear that I might stop breathing one night and you would wake up to find that I had died in my sleep. Well, my sweetheart, that did not happen. But your instincts were right. I passed their test criterea and by 2:00 AM, my sleep consultant woke me to say that I did indeed have sleep apnea and it was so severe that they put a machine and mask on me right then and there. I chuckled to myself, when I realized they probably didn't want to be held responsible if I died in my sleep, on their shift, sometime between 2 and 6 AM!
Thank you for loving me enough to keep telling me how worried you were about my sleeping. It took me awhile to get around to it, but I will now be getting the medical care needed. Your urgings to get treatment may have saved my life. My days are as yours were, numbered from the very beginning. Our heavenly Father is the only one who knows the number of days we have. But I do know I am supposed to take care of myself while I am left here on this earth. Please know that I will miss you on every one of the days that God leaves me here.
Always Know That You Were Loved, And Will Never Be Forgotten,
Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Halloween is upon us today. I recall that when you married me, you were unaware of how strongly I felt about this holiday, but you found out pretty quickly! It had nothing to do with allowing children to have fun with dressing up in costumes and getting candy. But, it is that there is a very dark, sinister side to this holiday as it is celebrated by those who worship Satan. It breaks my heart to even contemplate some of the horrors that take place on this day. I thank you for respecting my feelings and understanding. It is a day that all Christians should pray intercessory prayers for those affected by these distorted views and beliefs.
I recall the first Halloween after we moved into our new house. You were so excited to be living in a neighborhood and were really looking forward to passing out candy to the children. All the kids in the neighborhood loved "Mr. Robert"! The bowl of candy was by the door, waiting for you to come home from work and for the costumed children to knock on the door and say "Trick or Treat!"
And then you called to tell me, that at the last minute, you had a furniture delivery to make that evening and needed for me to bring the van to you. You had completely forgotten that it was Halloween. When I reminded you, you sighed heavily in frustration. You had planned a fun evening at home. But, you had also promised a sweet older lady, that you would deliver her couch to her on that evening. She was from New Orleans and had lost everything in Hurricane Katrina. I'll always remember how you gave up your first Halloween in our new house to help a distraught woman get furniture into her new apartment. I was proud of you.
And if I recall, the next year, you got to hand out lots of candy to the children in our neighborhood.
And how can I forget last Halloween? I had bought plenty of candy for you to hand out, but you your supply was running low. (Probably because you were giving out handfuls instead of pieces!) By the time I got home from work, you were handing out anything that was individually wrapped from our pantry - cereal bars, breakfast cookies, and even packets of instant oatmeal! We laughed together later as we pondered what the kids must have thought when they got home and checked out their "loot." But, thanks to you and your ingenuity, some kids probably had a healthy bowl of hot oatmeal before going to school the next morning! I smile now, remembering.
This year, as usual, I preferred to be someplace other than home on this night. Our church hosted an event for the community. I helped with one of the activities and stayed until it was over. And then, I scheduled an interesting end to my first Hallowwen night without you.
I had arranged to have a sleep study done and so I checked myself into a Sleep Center for the night. I did it because of you. You were always concerned about my snoring, (and I am sure you were also frustrated by it!) You thought I might have sleep apnea.
It was an odd feeling, having wires attached all over me. I was supposed to lay down and just go to sleep. Easier said than done! I lay there thinking about you. Many times you had expressed a fear that I might stop breathing one night and you would wake up to find that I had died in my sleep. Well, my sweetheart, that did not happen. But your instincts were right. I passed their test criterea and by 2:00 AM, my sleep consultant woke me to say that I did indeed have sleep apnea and it was so severe that they put a machine and mask on me right then and there. I chuckled to myself, when I realized they probably didn't want to be held responsible if I died in my sleep, on their shift, sometime between 2 and 6 AM!
Thank you for loving me enough to keep telling me how worried you were about my sleeping. It took me awhile to get around to it, but I will now be getting the medical care needed. Your urgings to get treatment may have saved my life. My days are as yours were, numbered from the very beginning. Our heavenly Father is the only one who knows the number of days we have. But I do know I am supposed to take care of myself while I am left here on this earth. Please know that I will miss you on every one of the days that God leaves me here.
Always Know That You Were Loved, And Will Never Be Forgotten,
Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)