August 16, 2008
My Dear Sweet Robert,
Eight months have now passed since that December day when God brought you home. I still miss you daily. Will that ever change, I wonder?
Tonight I went to a surprise 50th birthday for your sister, Mary. She is such a wonderful woman. I am glad that I have gotten to know her more in the last few months. I know how much you loved her and I remember how many times you would tell me about your phone calls to her. I remember how you would always “burp” when she answered the phone! It was like your “calling card.”
Her party was very nice. At one point, Mary, George, Andy, and Beca had a photo taken together. They had their arms around each other. I couldn’t help but imagine how overjoyed I would have felt to see you be a part of that picture. I could see it in my mind, when I closed my eyes; I could feel it in my heart; and I could almost hear your distinctive, deep laughter, having fun with them. But when I opened my eyes, after a few moments, and came back to reality, my eyes had filled with tears. I was quite overcome with emotion.
I couldn’t help but fondly, remember the day when you turned 50 in 2004. I gave you a surprise party at Sylvia’s house. I remember how touched you were when you realized that all those people were gathered together there, in your honor. Who could have ever foreseen that, in a little more than three years, all of those same people would gather together in a church, on a December, Sunday afternoon, for a Celebration of Life service in your memory?
I missed you tonight. I guess I just have to come to terms with the fact I will always miss you. That will not ever change.
Always Know That You Were Loved, And Will Never Be Forgotten.
Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Bobby loved fish. He loved to go fishing for them by land or by boat. It really didn't matter which way. He just loved to fish. I don't eat fish. I used to eat fish. I like to eat fish. But the last two times I had pretty severe allergic reactions to it. I was at my Mom & Dad's place both times it happened. So when hives crawl all over your body immediately one time when you just touch where the raw fish had been and the other time you feel your airway becoming restricted, you tend to STAY AWAY FROM FISH. Back to the story with Bobby. He had caught some beautiful fish at the Matanzas Inlet that day. I don't recall what kind of fish, but he was mighty proud of them. He cleaned them outside and I pan fried them for him. I fized a different meal for me. He took his first bite and declared that it was so good that I had to taste it. I answered, "No, I don't!" Finally after convincing me it had been many years since that allergy thing had happened with me, that I would probably be allright, I agreed to one bite - just one bite! And I do know that sometimes allergies are that way. But, my inner being, felt cautious and still said "No." I said that and if you know Bobby, then you know his powers of persuasion. So I finally relented, and agreed to the one bite. My nebulizer was already sitting on the couch from earlier use. I made it quite clear to Bobby that if, after taking a bite, I developed a problem, he was NOT to call 911 unless I became unconscious or gave him the thumbs up sign to call. All I could think of was dollar signs of an ambulance ride! He agreed. The bite of fish no sooner touched my throat and as I was attempting to swallow it, I knew immediately, I was indeed having an allergic reaction and would soon be unable to talk. I motioned to Bobby that I was in trouble and he turned the nebulizer on right away that was filled with albuterol, put it in my hand and told me me to breathe the medication in while he ran and got a Benadryl and some water. I know he was gone a very short time, but it felt like an eternity. He put the Benadryl tablet in my mouth & attempted to pour water in so the pill would go down. I started sputtering and spitting with the pink Benadryl flying out of my mouth. My airway had restricted to the point that not only could the pill not go down, but the water wouldn't go either. He was about to go into panic mode. I do know enough to know that panic mode does nothing to help the person struggling to breathe. In fact it makes it worse, because of seeing the other person so stressed out. I motioned for him to rub my back upwards, the same way that usually works during an asthma attack. He understood my sign language and began rubbing my back with upward strokes. If I recall, he had to fill the nebulizer with albuterol medication 3 or 4 times, before my airway began to relax. As soon as I could, I swallowed another Benadryl tablet. This time it and the water stayed down. By now, I was physically exhausted but proud that by working together we had avoided a hospital visit with anaphylactic shock. He kept saying "I am sorry. I am so sorry" over and over again. I told him it was okay because in the end it had turned out all right. But I told him that the next time I had the inner feeling to say "no" to something, I was going to! He never asked me to taste a fish again. In fact, that was the last time he ever asked me to cook fish for him! It is a sweet memory now, but wasn't so sweet at the time!
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