My Dear Sweet Robert,
Ten months have now come and gone since that December day when God called you home, to your eternal home. During these months, I feel like I have been on a roller coaster ride. By that I mean there have been ups and downs and sometimes I feel I have been turned completely upside down. Using a roller coaster analogy, has brought back a flood of fun memories.
Although I had been on a few rides, I was never a big fan of roller coasters, until God brought you into my life, and then, I brought the Disney Vacation Club into your life! I am smiling as I remember standing in line, the first time to get on the Rocking Roller Coaster at MGM Studios. I wasn’t sure I was ready to do it. You kept encouraging me and then we were off to the fastest few minutes I ever experienced. Little did I know that was only the beginning of our roller coaster adventures. Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Alien Encounter, Test Track, Mission to Mars, and the Twilight Tower of Terror. And I’ll never forget the year we went to Universal Studios Halloween Horror Night and we went on a “calm roller coaster ride” which it was, until the final plunge, straight down, and we got soaked and you lost your favorite Disney Vero Beach hat when it went flying into oblivion. I am both sorry and sad that we never had a chance to vacation again at Vero Beach, where you would have most assuredly replaced your hat! I always knew that resort was your favorite get-a-way. Some of my most treasured memories come from our adventure trips there. I miss having you around to do those things with. We built a lifetime of memories into our years together. I cherish each of them.
I really missed you a couple of weeks ago, when I had to have some medical tests done at a Day Surgery center. Sherri, my dear sweet niece, stepped in and made certain that I was taken care of. She drove me there, waited and then drove me home. When I was there, I remembered the times of taking you for various tests and procedures. You always thanked me for being there with you and then you promised me that you would always be there for me, when I needed something similar done. But you weren’t. You couldn’t be, because God had already called you home. My eyes filled with tears as I tried to imagine what it would be like to have you standing there, holding my hand and calming my fears. I missed you so much that day. But I am so thankful that I have been blessed with Sherri. I wish you could know the many acts of caring that she has shown me in these past ten months. God will surely bless her for her faithfulness in taking care of her “Auntie Kim”.
She has introduced me to many wonderful new friends at church. You would have come to love First Baptist Middleburg as much as I do. When I look to the front of the church on Sunday mornings and see the empty orchestra seats, I can’t help but think you would have wanted to get a new violin and join them. I would have been so proud of you. I will never forget the stories you told me about your violin playing in school. Even all these years later, your face beamed with pride as you told me how you were invited back to play at your former school for a special event. It meant a lot to you, I feel, because they showed such respect to you, for your accomplishments I wish there was a picture of that night so I could see what you looked like. I am quite certain you were smiling “ear to ear!”
Another way I really miss you is politically. I am holding true to my promise to keep on fighting in this Presidential election for the values we both believe in. I got to meet John McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, at a recent rally. It was held at The Landing, which is the same place you and I met George W Bush, many years ago. This time, for Sherri and I, it was another 4:15 AM morning. It was well worth losing a little sleep for. She was awesome. I can’t help but imagine how much fun we would be having, volunteering for this campaign together. I would have enjoyed hearing your insights on a female Vice-President candidate. I go to the Republican Headquarters after work and try to help get our message out. Our candidate has an uphill road to climb, in order to win. All we can do is work hard for him (John McCain) and pray hard (to Him! – for His guidance, His mercy and His grace on our country.)
Our neighbor Tom, stopped me the other day, to tell me that he recently thought of you and the story I had shared at your Celebration of Life Service about how I talked you into replacing a John Kerry bumper sticker with a George W Bush sticker on an unsuspecting person’s car. We laughed so hard at the thought of someone driving around, advertising for the opposite candidate! We wondered how long it took before they realized what had happened. Well, Tom did it himself, today. He wanted me to know that he did it “In Memory of You” and your strange sense of humor! I thanked him and told him you would have laughed hysterically that someone else did the same thing!
I have come to realize that these “Grief Letters” I have been writing on the 16th of every month and on each holiday are actually misnamed. Each of the different grief counseling programs I have attended have all encouraged the writing of “Grief Letters” as a way of expressing our feelings and to help us cope with the many layers of loss we are going through. It strikes me that the name “Grief Letter” doesn’t fit for me. So from this day forward, I am calling them my “Coping Letters.” That is what they do for me. They help me cope with your loss.
I know on a conscious level, that you are in Heaven and can’t actually have any awareness of the things you left behind and things, such as these letters, that I faithfully write. But on an emotional level, it is a different story and I feel comforted by writing and sharing my thoughts to you. You were such an important part of my life for many years, and I believe by writing and sharing these thoughts it helps me as I begin to adjust to the reality of my life, without you as my husband.
It was very difficult to do, but after my surgery, as I began to put my jewelry back on, I realized that the time had come to stop wearing my wedding ring on my left hand. So with tears flowing down my face, I gently placed my beautiful diamond wedding ring onto my right hand. I will always cherish it and will always remember the deep love with which you gave it to me. I will always wear it, until the day that God calls me home. And then I want your precious daughter, Sylvia to have it. She, probably more than anyone else, understands how much you and I meant to each other. I think you would agree with that and would want her to have our wedding ring.
My love, there is so much more I want to share here, but its very late and I know I need to try to sleep. You would be proud to know that after all of your prodding and an additional ten months, to ponder on it, I have finally decided to have a sleep study done to diagnose my sleep apnea problem. You were quite certain I had it and really wanted me to get help. So, on Halloween Night, (of all days), I am booked into a “Sleep Study Suite”. Doesn’t that sound like fun! Someone has to listen to me snore all night! That poor person won’t have the luxury of waking me up to stop snoring or the option of moving to another room, like you did. What a job! I hope it pays well! I am sure you would agree.
Good Night, My Love…
Please Know That You Were Always Loved and Will Never Be Forgotten.
With Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13
Ten months have now come and gone since that December day when God called you home, to your eternal home. During these months, I feel like I have been on a roller coaster ride. By that I mean there have been ups and downs and sometimes I feel I have been turned completely upside down. Using a roller coaster analogy, has brought back a flood of fun memories.
Although I had been on a few rides, I was never a big fan of roller coasters, until God brought you into my life, and then, I brought the Disney Vacation Club into your life! I am smiling as I remember standing in line, the first time to get on the Rocking Roller Coaster at MGM Studios. I wasn’t sure I was ready to do it. You kept encouraging me and then we were off to the fastest few minutes I ever experienced. Little did I know that was only the beginning of our roller coaster adventures. Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Alien Encounter, Test Track, Mission to Mars, and the Twilight Tower of Terror. And I’ll never forget the year we went to Universal Studios Halloween Horror Night and we went on a “calm roller coaster ride” which it was, until the final plunge, straight down, and we got soaked and you lost your favorite Disney Vero Beach hat when it went flying into oblivion. I am both sorry and sad that we never had a chance to vacation again at Vero Beach, where you would have most assuredly replaced your hat! I always knew that resort was your favorite get-a-way. Some of my most treasured memories come from our adventure trips there. I miss having you around to do those things with. We built a lifetime of memories into our years together. I cherish each of them.
I really missed you a couple of weeks ago, when I had to have some medical tests done at a Day Surgery center. Sherri, my dear sweet niece, stepped in and made certain that I was taken care of. She drove me there, waited and then drove me home. When I was there, I remembered the times of taking you for various tests and procedures. You always thanked me for being there with you and then you promised me that you would always be there for me, when I needed something similar done. But you weren’t. You couldn’t be, because God had already called you home. My eyes filled with tears as I tried to imagine what it would be like to have you standing there, holding my hand and calming my fears. I missed you so much that day. But I am so thankful that I have been blessed with Sherri. I wish you could know the many acts of caring that she has shown me in these past ten months. God will surely bless her for her faithfulness in taking care of her “Auntie Kim”.
She has introduced me to many wonderful new friends at church. You would have come to love First Baptist Middleburg as much as I do. When I look to the front of the church on Sunday mornings and see the empty orchestra seats, I can’t help but think you would have wanted to get a new violin and join them. I would have been so proud of you. I will never forget the stories you told me about your violin playing in school. Even all these years later, your face beamed with pride as you told me how you were invited back to play at your former school for a special event. It meant a lot to you, I feel, because they showed such respect to you, for your accomplishments I wish there was a picture of that night so I could see what you looked like. I am quite certain you were smiling “ear to ear!”
Another way I really miss you is politically. I am holding true to my promise to keep on fighting in this Presidential election for the values we both believe in. I got to meet John McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, at a recent rally. It was held at The Landing, which is the same place you and I met George W Bush, many years ago. This time, for Sherri and I, it was another 4:15 AM morning. It was well worth losing a little sleep for. She was awesome. I can’t help but imagine how much fun we would be having, volunteering for this campaign together. I would have enjoyed hearing your insights on a female Vice-President candidate. I go to the Republican Headquarters after work and try to help get our message out. Our candidate has an uphill road to climb, in order to win. All we can do is work hard for him (John McCain) and pray hard (to Him! – for His guidance, His mercy and His grace on our country.)
Our neighbor Tom, stopped me the other day, to tell me that he recently thought of you and the story I had shared at your Celebration of Life Service about how I talked you into replacing a John Kerry bumper sticker with a George W Bush sticker on an unsuspecting person’s car. We laughed so hard at the thought of someone driving around, advertising for the opposite candidate! We wondered how long it took before they realized what had happened. Well, Tom did it himself, today. He wanted me to know that he did it “In Memory of You” and your strange sense of humor! I thanked him and told him you would have laughed hysterically that someone else did the same thing!
I have come to realize that these “Grief Letters” I have been writing on the 16th of every month and on each holiday are actually misnamed. Each of the different grief counseling programs I have attended have all encouraged the writing of “Grief Letters” as a way of expressing our feelings and to help us cope with the many layers of loss we are going through. It strikes me that the name “Grief Letter” doesn’t fit for me. So from this day forward, I am calling them my “Coping Letters.” That is what they do for me. They help me cope with your loss.
I know on a conscious level, that you are in Heaven and can’t actually have any awareness of the things you left behind and things, such as these letters, that I faithfully write. But on an emotional level, it is a different story and I feel comforted by writing and sharing my thoughts to you. You were such an important part of my life for many years, and I believe by writing and sharing these thoughts it helps me as I begin to adjust to the reality of my life, without you as my husband.
It was very difficult to do, but after my surgery, as I began to put my jewelry back on, I realized that the time had come to stop wearing my wedding ring on my left hand. So with tears flowing down my face, I gently placed my beautiful diamond wedding ring onto my right hand. I will always cherish it and will always remember the deep love with which you gave it to me. I will always wear it, until the day that God calls me home. And then I want your precious daughter, Sylvia to have it. She, probably more than anyone else, understands how much you and I meant to each other. I think you would agree with that and would want her to have our wedding ring.
My love, there is so much more I want to share here, but its very late and I know I need to try to sleep. You would be proud to know that after all of your prodding and an additional ten months, to ponder on it, I have finally decided to have a sleep study done to diagnose my sleep apnea problem. You were quite certain I had it and really wanted me to get help. So, on Halloween Night, (of all days), I am booked into a “Sleep Study Suite”. Doesn’t that sound like fun! Someone has to listen to me snore all night! That poor person won’t have the luxury of waking me up to stop snoring or the option of moving to another room, like you did. What a job! I hope it pays well! I am sure you would agree.
Good Night, My Love…
Please Know That You Were Always Loved and Will Never Be Forgotten.
With Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13
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