November 16, 2008
Eleven months have now gone by since the day we lost your presence with us. It seems hard to believe that so much time has passed.
Sometimes I feel like it was just the other day when I heard your sweet voice calling me and asking me to pick up a new movie to watch together. Now I have a hard time watching a movie without thinking of you. Whenever we watched a movie that you had already seen, I remember how you use to hit me on the leg and say "Watch This, Watch This!" It took me years to get you to stop that little habit!
Sometimes when I see a white Saturn driving on the road, I instinctively quickly look to see if it's you. Of course, I know it's not, but I still look, sometimes even when I am behind the wheel, driving your white Saturn. Those are some of the times when I feel like I am losing my mind. I am told that is normal, so I won't worry too much about it.
Sometimes I am in a store and I see a man in the distance who has a resemblance to you. I find that I can't stop staring and wishing it was you. I try to look away, but my eyes seem to just want "one more look."
Sometimes I am in church and I see a husband put his arm around his wife and I can't help but think of you and the loving way you used to put your arm around me in church or the way you would gently hold my hand while we were singing. Oh, how I would love to hear to hear your voice sing one more time. The angels must have been thrilled to have your voice join with theirs in singing and praising God.
Sometimes I just miss having you to talk with. Earlier this month, much to my dismay, I got laid off from my job. I know what an encourager you would have been to me. And yet, even though it has been so many months since you were here, you are still helping me. Last fall, you set a profile up for me on Jobs.com. I am thankful now that I didn't delete it from the computer. I also modified your Monster profile to be mine! You would have been proud of me!!!
I could sure use any extra prayers or guidance on how to find the job that will be right for me. I have so many obstacles working against me- my age, my physical limitations, and the economic conditions in our country. For the first time ever, I have filed for unemployment. Thanks to watching you do it a few times, I knew how to go online and file my claim! My first check should be coming soon. I am just not sure how to get out there and find this job that I so desperately need. There are so many people looking for jobs. For now, I am trusting that God will show me the way. He will put the right person in my path to either meet me or read my resume and call me. I will have faith. He will not fail me. I have claimed Romans 8:28 for my verse to get me through this difficult time. That is the same verse that I read to you so many times, when you weren't sure what you were supposed to do with your life. My prayer is that I can take these circumstances I find myself in, and watch things come together according to His will and that I will soon be able to see clearly the path God has outlined for me.
As always, my love...
Know That You Were Always Loved, And Will Never Be Forgotten,
Love,
Kim
Phil 4:13 and Romans 8:28
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